It's days like today..

...that I feel more lost than ever. Here I am trying to figure it all out. Move or not? Put in my two weeks notice or not? Decisions in life definetely get harder the older you get and after a week like the one I have had, I feel in no right mind to make a decision that will change the rest of my life. I feel literally broken and all I know is that I need to do something. Something to make me feel like I am doing something important with my life. Not just going to job I hate or not having any kind of life at all. Who knew that at 21 years old my life would be like this? I never would have thought a week ago I would be at the point that I am right now. With everything that has happened to me and to my loved ones in the last couple months, I can't help but think to myself when is going to get easier? When will God decide to stop testing me and my limits and decide to make things just a bit easy on me for awhile???

Betty Sue Homemaker

As GR's friends would say I'm becoming quite the little housewive. Except I dont have the house or the husbad haha. It's mostly due to boredom ha but I find that although I used to think I had no skills, the more I play around the more I find I'm actually pretty crafty. And whats even more great....I enjoy doing it! There is nothing better than finishing something and actually liking the outcome! haha

With that said, I have done some projects around the house lately. One includes making pillows. I saw this neat idea on HGTV(love love love that channel)about how to make inexpensive decorative pillows for like a bed or a sitting room. All you do is find some cute placemats, or in my case I did silk napkins and some precut fabric from joannes. The reason I chose napkins is because they are already seamed so you dont have to sew the edge on. Then you get some stitch witchery tape that onlly requires you to cut it to the size you want and press the iron and bam you have your seam. Do all three edges, stuff the pillow, do the fourth edge and your done.

It's so easy and they actually turned out cute. I made the fabric side smaller than the napkin side so that I could do some fun edges to kinda add character, but you could sew on little buttons or do some ribbon just have fun with it! I did the purple/cream one for a friend who just redid her room and I am making more of the brown/blue to match my bed set. Between the napkins about $1.75 a piece at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, the fabric about $1.50 each square, the tape about $4 and then stuffing $5 for a huge bag and of course those good ol Joanne's coupons this was waaay cheaper than buying throw pillows. What do you think?

Then GR found this table in a house right? it was really beat up and actually just that fake oak color( i forgot the before picture) but it had all kinda of scratches and what not. So I sanded it down, primed it white than paineted it black. Once I got done with that I sanded all the edges to rough it up and added the decorative knobs on the front to make it look like a drawer and dress it up. The whole project cost me rought $7 in knobs, maybe $8 in painted and I had the primer and sand paper in my trusty craft bag. I'm still searching for some decor that fits GR's personality to put on it but for now family pictures alwasy work! Plus it was orginally for people to put purse's and what not when they come over haha. Anyhow I did this once with my current tv stand and now I'm on the hunt for an old nightstand to redo for GR's bedroom since he only has one and drives us both crazy lol.

The Finished Product

2010 already?!

Happy New Year all! Can you believe that its 2010??? I am seriously in shock that 2009 went by sooo fast. I swear it felt like only yesterday that paige was born and now she will be one in 3 months! Kohan turns 4 tomorrow and its amazing how smart and big that kid has got. Amy and Brandon will certainly have their hands full with those two. Well I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I had my surgeory on the 18th and just decided to take the time off for the following week and go home. So Monday I drove home and boy was that a long trip. By the time I hit Payson my arms were like numb cuz they hurt so bad to hold up and steer the car lol...but I made it! We had a white one this year and I got to test out the Nitro in the weather. It did very well except on the infamous hill by our house. We had to drift around the corner to make it. But we spent Christmas Eve at the house this year with a mexican theme dinner and played scattegories. We had a blast! Gr came over and played with us and now he is addicted to that game. We play it all the time. Christmas morning we went to Snowflake and did presents at Amy and Brandon's. It was great. I got a new jacket from my parents and a bunch of clothes. Every girl loves clothes!! Then I went and hung out with GR and his parents for awhile and when I got back from that, we did a gingerbread house contest between my family, my dad being the judge. It was pretty funny what we all came up with. Then GR came over and we did dinner and once Chris got there it was on with the scattergories game again! haha im not joking the family is obsessed witht his game. Anyhow us kids got together and thanks to Gr's spectacular picture taking skills we put together a collage of photos for my parents for Xmas this year. Here are a few of them....

Oh The Holidays...

How the time flies by!! I can not believe that it is already December. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Me and GR drove to Showlow on Wednesday and Thursday I spent baking with my mom. We tried a new pumpkin cheesecake pie and it turned out fantastic! We ended up at Grandma's for dinner that night and had a good time. It is always great to see everyone and all the cousins were there. It's been awhile since that happened since our family has became so large so it was a great time. Friday Ms. Colbi cut my hair and me and my mom gladly watched Paige for the rest of the weekend since Amy worked and Brandon took Kohan down to the ranch. We had fun and according to GR spending all weekend with Paige still didnt get the 'baby kick' out of me haha. Unfortantely after mom spent all day Saturday making a great turkey dinner again for us ASU lost to UofA but it was really no suprise. Sunday ending in everyone in the family being sick besides dad. He talked all kinds of crap that he had such a great immune system but ended up sick on Monday ha. So we basically spent the day on the couch watching the Cardinals game and trying to get better.

So given this time of year, when most people think of such things, here are some things that I'm thankful for:

1. This wonderful, supportive guy. Even though we have our ups and downs we have been through so much together and it amazes me on a daily basis how caring he is. He may be anti kid now but there are moments like these that make me 100% sure that when the right time comes he will be such a great father. He is always offering me help and I know that when it comes down to it, I can always count on him.

2. My crazy supportive family. They are alwasy there for me and are behind me all the way no matter my decisions. I really couldnt ask for a better family and I thank my lucky stars we are all so close and get along as well as we do. If not for my family I would truly be lost. My parents set such a great example of what a marriage should be like and what it means to truly be a mom and dad. My brother has such a big heart and he is always there to make you laugh and give you a big tease. My sister is never judging. I know that I can always go to her for anything and she will always give me great advice. and every one of my family members gives great hugs!!

3. My adorable niece and nephew. Kohan can be a crazy man but deep down that kohan we know is there and he really has such a great heart. You can always count on him to tell you that you look cute or your outfit looks good. Paige is seriously the most easy going happy baby ever. She can always make laugh and her smile really lights up a room.

4. My coworkers. Most people can't stand people they work with. I can honestly say I absolutely love every single one of my team members. We are one big family who looks out for eachother and you always know that you can count on them. They geniuenly care for you and you can never doubt that they hope nothing but the best for you.

5. Dolce. She is seriously the best dog ever. I know everyone says that but from day one when I got her she has molded into my life and around my heart. Even GR who is not a dog person is wrapped around her paw. She just looks at you with those sad little chocolate eyes and you cant help but give into her. There is nothing better than coming home to someone sooo excited to see you everyday and bouncing off the walls cuz you are home.

With that said on the 18th I have to have surgeory :( Unfortunately I have found some lumps in my boobs a couple months ago and didnt think much of it. My OB said it was normal for them to come and go. Well then they became painful and much larger. So I had an ultrasound and mammogram done and they recommended immediate removal. So I go in on the 18th to get them removed cuz they dont want to take the time to have them biopsied due to their size. So they'll remove them and we will go from there depending on the lab results following the surgeory. Im a little nervous just cuz I've never done anything including breaking a bone(knock on wood) so this will be my first adventure. Mom came down and we met my surgeon who we instantly liked and she, amy and dad will be here that day to support me. So we are staying positive and just thinking its better to find it now than later on.

Other than that life is moving full ahead and its decorating time! Went to Hobby Lobby and got great deals on new decor and xmas threw up in GR's house this year. Now just waiting for the weekend so we can get the tree decorate it and also put up xmas lights! Ya for the holidays and bring on the cheer!!!!

What a weekend

So Gr had his procedure done on Friday morning. I sadly went to work, but his mom and dad were here to help him out and take care of him. He had some pain Friday and I think it was from the muscle spasms he had as well as when the broke up stones would move. But Saturday morning he was feeling much better and they told him to walk as much as possible so me and Ruth took him shopping. The only time GR gets into buying things for his house is when his mom comes down :) so off to Lowes we went. He bought some granite tile for the backsplashes in his bathrooms, a fan, and some paint for the fireplace. Which I must say was the original color I told him to choose. So yesterday he let me pick out a color and Ruth picked out a color. And guess what....he liked my color! I told him he should listen to me more often...maybe the fireplace would have been painted months ago when we started this color search! Then we went to Target and out to lunch at BJ's. By the time we were done he was exhausted. Now today its off to go find some work pants, work on a project, and baking a cheese cake for GR. Hope he likes it!
While GR slept yesterday after the shopping extravaganza, me and Chris went to the pumpkin patch and picked out some pumpkins to carve last night. Here are the results:

GR's PumpkinMy Pumpkin

This Finished Project

Chris Pumpkin "Bubbles"

reasons to move home

Every single time I go home it makes me want to move home more and more. I really miss my family and the good times I have with them. I went up north this weekend cuz my dad turned 50 on the 13th. We did a dinner and watched the asu game. Thankfully we won only to due with the miracle pass by sullivan....even he couldnt believe he was capable of such a pass. Then Sunday we went to Brandon and Amy's and watched the Cardinals...who won also!! Go AZ football! Anyhow here are some pics from this weekend....


Brian trying on Kohan's batman costume


The cutest little pumpkin ever!


The sunset on the drive home...isn't it beautiful?

Life

Man have things been weird lately. I got really sick and had to take a leave for about a week from work. It started on Sunday and was bad enough that G.R. was scared and wanted to take me to ER but I didnt have enough energy to go. So I went to the doctor who immediately tested me for everything including mono and swine flu. long story short, they never really found out what was wrong with me. But I feel better now and hopefully it stays that way!

Gr spent a day cleaning out the garage and working on his uncle Rogers bike for a race they are doing next weekend. Well after biking with dolce and bugging Gr to death about what he was doing we found the nieces and nephews life jackets from the jet skis......well my bright self decided it was the perfect size for dolce! since she gets swept away by currents cuz she goes bird crazy i really think we should invest and buy her one!

I found out today that someone has taken my debit card number and overdrafted my account by buying a bunch of food! haha they charged it to many food places and so now I get to fight with my bank to try to get my money back and reverse my fees.

With all the stress of work and everything going on, I decided I needed a project to keep my attention and get my mind off things. So at work we are doing a secret santa type thing where we get a person and every week we bring them a little gift to cheer them up or to say have a good day. Well just so happens I got a good friend of mine and decided since she just bought a new home I'd make her a little house warming gift. So this was the finished project and it was actually really fun to make! Gr helped me cut out the wood and taught me to router the edges and make the knots in the wood. He said he was proud that after he showed me once I did everything myself instead of having him do it :0)

GR left for the boys annual hunting trip this morning and so I am headed up to show low for the weekend. My dad turned the big 50 on tuesday so im going to go visit him and see the family. I love going home especially right now when the weather is getting warm and you can wear sweaters! anyhow this is how me and dolce spent our evening together watching greys anatomy and private practice. Yep she gets spoiled when he leaves and hangs out on the bed with me :) I get lonely and need someone to cuddle with!